This is a must “read”
Dear Magali,
I would love so much to be part of your documentary and blogumentary!
I don’t really know where to start. Salsa has become an important part of me, and I love to teach others how to dance and move their hips, and break the bubble of meeting someone and grab their hand and start dancing. I grew up in Torrance, a mostly Japanese, Korean and white community, so being Salvadoran without knowing anything about my history, I meshed into their culture. I joined Korean culture clubs so I could still be a bit of an outsider but explore their beautiful culture as well. But I ached to know about me, and my history.
It was not until I got into UCLA and met cuban salsa singer, Omara Pontuondo, that I realized how I longed for my culture, my music. We sang, “Guantanamera,” and I grew nostalgic as it was a song I would listen to as a child.
When I saw everyone of all ages, even this old man who was shimmying with Omara and they started dancing together, I knew that I had to become a better part of that community. I saw that everyone could be part of salsa, no matter where you came from, who you were, and how old you were. I started going every Thursday to this thing called “Salsa by the Bear,” which was street salsa next to the statue of the mascot Bruin Bear, to learn salsa.
I would look forward to every Thursday and made friends fast. I was progressing very quickly and was surprised that I was the only Latina in the group of people dancing. However, being 18 and having spent all my free time at churches during high school, I was not ready for the attention I would receive from older men, their ostentatious flirting that made me uncomfortable, and forceful moves. So although I loved salsa, I did not feel comfortable going anymore. Simultaneously, I was gripping with my own feelings as in my religion, dancing was seen as a sin, something that good women did not do. I felt guilty and stopped going.
The last quarter of my Senior year, I last minute decided that I was not ready to leave college, and asked my boyfriend for help. I dropped all my classes and started a complete new major taking my first Chicana/o courses which would take my perception about the world upside down! Because I had already missed the first classes, everyone had already partnered up with people to do their presentations. Hence, Professor Covarrubias told me that I had to partner up with this other girl that also came late to the class; her name was Emily Alabi.
I wanted to be her friend right away because she was half Korean and half Salvadoran, like how I was Salvadoran in blood and Korean at heart. I thought she was so beautiful and interesting, I would always want to sit next to her. When I found out that she was a professional salsa dancer, I did not know how to tell her so I just kept it in. I admired her so much. She could dance salsa freely without being criticised and with her brother! I felt we had so much in common, but what separated us was our family values. Her father sent her to dancing to stay away from bad company, while my father would never dream of having me learn to dance nor could he afford it! I would be considered “mundana” meaning “worldly”: not a good thing to a devout Christian.
She left to her exciting life of dancing around the world, and I felt even emptier as I knew I had done everything that was required of me all my life: involved in the church, lost many friends due to my studying, sacrificed dancing and I did not feel happy.
I knew it was time for me to explore everything that I had ever wanted to do! I went again to the “Salsa by the Bear,” knowing that the men who made me uncomfortable were not there anymore. Unfortunately, I danced with a guy who was really forceful, and I did not feel comfortable with the moves, so it left me feeling hurt afterwards. It did not help that my boyfriend saw and he forbid me from going again to protect his pride; starting a long chain of hurtful events. He became my biggest barrier to my seeking to learn and be part of the salsa community.
Each salsa class and salsa event that I attended either started with my being hurt and called mean things like, slut, whore, and “male attention seeker,”or ended with my getting dragged out of the floor and getting threatened that I would not be helped academically, as my boyfriend was my trusted tutor and closest friend. When I finally would convinced him to let me take salsa classes, he had very strict rules that I had to abide by. I could not talk to anyone, not make friends, and had to leave right afterwards… impossible rules that led to my being forced out of several classes. I would cry every night in surprise that my relationship was turning into an ugly thing. I told him that I had grown to love salsa so much that a piece of my heart felt like it had died; I could not go living back the way I used to live having sacrificed all that I wanted for what was considered responsible and appropriate.
Since my boyfriend did not want me to take salsa classes at UCLA, I started taking classes by Cristian Oviedo in Santa Monica. I loved his routine, as we did not have to dance with the same person for longer than 3 minutes, and there was a lot of solo footwork, but I still felt scared of my boyfriend. I would look down, try not to talk to anyone unless I had to, and just ran to the car to make sure I could keep taking classes, but he grew suspicious and did not give me rides to the class anymore. Again, the beginning of the next and last quarter, I wanted to enroll to the intermediate salsa class at UCLA and my boyfriend did not let me sign up. While the class was going on, I could imagine people laughing and talking, waiting for doors to open while I was sitting in my dark room wishing I was there. After a long night of crying and fighting, he acquiesced.
Why would I fight so much for salsa? Because it was a liberation of my body and my sexuality, and connection to my culture. Salsa made me feel so free and beautiful. I was amazed at what my body could do instead of being ashamed of it because it did not fit the ideals of beauty I read in magazines and saw on TV.
While in the intermediate class, one friend asked me to go to a salsa party at his house. I was so excited because I had never been invited to a house party before, and at that, a SALSA party! I chose my clothes and my make-up a week before in my mind. However, when the time came for me to get ready, my boyfriend just stated that I could not go. I could not believe it… I had done everything he asked of me and I could not go. I went berserk, it was my last quarter and my last year, I would not get this freedom at home with my parents after I graduated. I cried and fought for hours. I was locked in my room. I got my clothes, tried to put them on, and he grabbed them and he would not let me change. I was stunned. It took a real toll on my body. I went to sleep devastated. The stress that I was enduring each week was weakening my body. I got really sick the day after, and it lasted for a whole week. I went to class, and slept all day. However, I did not miss salsa class even though I had been in bed all day. I started dancing by the Bruin Bear again, but I was prohibited for the last three weeks in school.
I received even worse threats for going, such as the breaking of my laptop and other belongings, and I could not risk it for dancing as it was getting closer to testing weeks. It was painful to see my friends dancing as I would only faintly smile and wave at them while I would walk back home and watch Youtube salsa videos to help myself feel better. For my art class, I painted a picture of a bird getting its wings clipped because of how depressed I felt over my lack of freedom.
These are only a few of the many things that I have had to endure for my love for salsa. Despite everything, I love dancing salsa and recommend salsa for everyone. I think of Tito Nieve’s song, “Salsa Vive,” where he states, “Que Dios bendiga la tradición de nuestro pueblo…” because he connects his Christian religion with his love for salsa.
Having had an eating disorder in the past, salsa has taught me to love my body and treat it with respect. I treasure my salsa shoes as I never thought I would have owned a pair, and I love the connection and high that I feel with my partner and my body while dancing salsa. It has made me into a stronger person as it has forced me to be willing to fight for what I believe in all areas of my life.
Now, I face new challenges as I try to find a salsa community here in Torrance, and do not know how my parents will react. My goal is to be able to improve at my dancing, join a salsa team, and go to a congress in the future. I am sorry that I wrote so much! I was so flattered at your response that I wanted to share my story. I wish you the best on your project, and cannot wait to see the completed results! Warmly,
Nataly
Thank you Nataly! for taking on courageously writing this blog! magali – Heart of Salsa
Check as well Nataly beautiful blog as well at:
http://virtuousandbeautiful.wordpress.com/2012/05/26/mestiza-women-and-her-contradictions/
Unas cuantas semanas atras para mi cumpleanos sali hacia Long Beach para encontrarme con Josie Neglia ( no filmando por fin por una vez!) y terminando en Sevilla donde un facinante DJ estaba tocando musica muy buena! Yo estaba curiosa en saber mas de Deejay JoJo y supe que iba tocar “Vinyl’s” toda la noche para un social que sucede el segundo viernes de cada mes con Aisha Philips como alfitrona en una escuela de baile en Carson.
Albert Torres, estaba en Los Angeles ese dia, la cual es un poco raro sabiendo que el esta viajando casi todos los fines de semana, Yo se que Albert es bien sensitivo cuando tiene que ver con la musica y la importancia que conlleva para transmitirlo a persona a persona y de generacion a generacion. Tan pronto le dije del local social el decidio acompanarme y no se arrepintio ni un minuto de haber ido.
Es mucho mas trabajo para un Deejay el tocar vinyls pero Dj JoJo lo disfruta muchisimo ! Al final de la noche DJ JoJo fue invitado para tocar como Deejay esos maravillosos discos en el 15th Aniversario Del Congreso De Salsa De Los Angeles 2013 !
Heart of Salsa el equipo pequeno iran el 14 de septiembre, para el proximo capitulo del Social de Mambo Madness y lograr tomar esos pequenos tesoros momentos en camara !
HEART OF SALSA 
